You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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