Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
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