I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I faked an abortion last night.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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