He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
