My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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