After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
