Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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