was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
