pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Randomize
