When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
