You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
