if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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