just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
