I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
