The maid of honor just puked.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
