i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
