Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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