dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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