Im at strip club and am horny
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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