Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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