I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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