dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
