No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
