Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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