also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
