Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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