This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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