Please, let me fuck your mom
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
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You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
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I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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