at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
