I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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