where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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