Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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