I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
