Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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