can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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