I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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