my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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