dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize