I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
