i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
