So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
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we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
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U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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