I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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