So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
