i already hear my dad disowning me
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I touched a dick in church today
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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