what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
