Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
