hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
People in love make me want to vomit
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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