I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
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Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
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Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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