he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
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He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
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Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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