yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
