he wants to bone in the snuggie
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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