you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
