there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
