D3 body, D1 cock
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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