Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
