Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
