You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
