My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
