i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well I just put wine in my tea
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
