Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
