dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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